Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Life Lesson Number One: Ice Ice Baby

Dear Boudreaux...

Almost a year ago, I went to a Thanksgiving dinner. I sat across from your Aunt Ashley, who was about eight months pregnant at the time. The entire time she sat there, she crunched ice in her mouth. Of course, being very sound-sensitive and easily annoyed, I wanted to strangle her, because I could hear the sound of that ice grinding against her teeth in the very depths of my soul. I wondered to myself, how the heck can anyone chew up ice? It just seemed so painful!

Now, nearly a full year later, I sit here on the couch... typing letters to you... and eating cup after cup of ice. Oh, the wonderful sensations as the sharp, cold, wet chunks splatter against my tongue and cheeks! Oh, the beautiful sound of contained inner violence!

And oh, the humbleness in my heart for making such a hostile judgement, only to have it turn against me in complete irony.

I'll be crunching on ice while I breastfeed you... and someday, even if you don't ever get pregnant (and make me rich), I promise that you will understand.


0 Strange Opinions:

Post a Comment

<< Home