Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Monthly Love Letter: Month One

To my Boudreaux, aka Jakob...

On Monday you were four weeks old, and tomorrow you'll be a month old. Wow, what a month it's been! I can't believe I'm still alive!

From the day you were born, you were crazy wide-eyed. You just wanted to see everything going on around you, all the time. You could lock eyes with someone that was holding you, and follow them when they moved. But no matter who was holding you, you already knew Mama & Daddy's voices, and whenever we spoke, you would do everything in your power to look at us, even though they said you could only see 10 inches away. I remember one day specifically when Granny was holding you against her chest, and Daddy walked up behind you. He started talking to you, and you lifted up your entire head and turned it aaaalllll the way around and looked right into his eyes and smiled. Now, you're not supposed to be able to do any of that yet, so keep it on the DL, or the government might try to steal you for experiments. We know you can hold your head up for a full minute, and that you smile when people talk to you, and that you can push yourself up with your hands for a few seconds at a time... and that you've been doing it since you popped out, no less! But there's no need to spread the news, the secret's safe with us.

When we're here alone during the day, I don't talk to you so much. I didn't talk to the dog much, either, during his first few months of life... but as he started responding, I started having conversations with him. It'll come... but for now, I'm sure you enjoy the fact that you can at least have SOME quiet time... because when Granny gets home, she talks to you enough for all three of us! Maybe that's why you have trouble falling asleep at night... is she overstimulating you?

Speaking of sleep... Sleep, oh precious sleep... your first night home was horrible, because I AM SO SORRY, I DID NOT KNOW YOU HATED FOR ME TO DRINK MILK! But now we know. Your first three weeks were wonderful... there were even a few nights where you slept 5-6 hours at a time and woke up for just a second to eat, and nodded off again. But something happened this past Monday, and I don't know what it was. Once it gets close to sleepy-time (as soon as it gets dark), you start fighting. You have a clean diaper, you've just eaten or sometimes you just refuse to eat, there's nothing hurting you or poking you, you've been given gas drops and burped, we've rocked you and rocked you and walked miles around the house with you, we've held you in 20 different positions... and yet you're still wailing. You'll cry and cry and cry until Daddy gives up and rolls over to try and sleep. Then you'll cry some more. You'll scream and arch your back and kick your feet and scream some more... until I just want to scream myself and throw something across a room (not you, of course) and pull all of my hair out.

And then, all of a sudden, you'll stop. And you'll look up at me with those big gray-green-brown eyes. And I'll lay you against my chest, and you'll fall right to sleep. And Boo, feeling you fall asleep on my chest makes every minute of that screaming just fade away... and then it's just us there, with the sound of your breathing in my ear, just the way it should be. I don't know about you, but there's no place in the world I'd rather be...


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